You’ve been quiet lately
Hello world, yes I have been quiet lately.
I’ve stalled so long, just sitting on these words that I have already written. I have gotten in my own way so many times. In a previous draft, I wrote “I have been struggling to write something that I think would be valuable for others to hear. My inner critic is going strong telling me that I don’t have anything worthwhile to say.” Right now, I know it’s more “I’m struggling to let my voice be heard. My inner critic is still going strong telling me that no one wants to hear this.”
I used to believe that “keeping peace” or “harmony” is more important than voicing that something is wrong or speaking up in general… This unfortunately is a common and problematic belief held in my culture and in communities that are collective in nature. It is also a very problematic belief that I have personally struggled with a lot. I want to overcome that limiting belief. I know that I need to make the first step so that I can give myself the platform and permission to speak up.
In the past, I have had previous managers tell me that I need to build confidence and speak up more. I need to believe in myself more.
I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to hear that… because I knew that it was true. Growing up, I was a follower and often looked to others to help me make decisions, to be my voice.
Now, I believe there are reasons why I should speak up. Why I need to believe in myself and use this voice I have been gifted with. And why I have to be unafraid. When I take a step back and think about that voice criticising myself, I can see how I’m being unfair. By silencing myself, I am silencing others like me. What I tell myself is a reflection of what I tell others who are like me. I realise now how hypocritical I am for not living up to my own mission and values.
So if you’re like me and wondering whether your voice matters… remember that it does. I know from experience that it does matter what you think about yourself because that worldview in fact, includes others (surprise, surprise!).
As Nomi (from the Netflix series, Sense 8) says, “I am also a we”.
A scene from Sense 8, S1.E2 “I Am Also a We”
Representation matters. I’ve always wondered why there aren’t more people like me speaking up, then I remember, “hey I’m a person like me!”.
Why can’t I be that person for myself? Why do I sit around hoping someone else does that for me?
I am really inspired by the words from co-founder of Greater Good Studio and self-proclaimed “pissed-off optimist” George Aye who reminds us, “Emerging leaders, it’s time to take up space.”(Watch his Taubman College lecture on “That Quiet Little Voice”)
So this is me taking up space and using my voice. I am a nonya, third-culture kid, born in Sydney, raised in Saudi Arabia (and that’s just the start of the story). I value authenticity, being my authentic self and not ashamed of it (working on it). I value compassion for myself, for others and this world I am privileged to walk in. I value curiosity, to seek other perspectives and also to explore and challenge my own perspective… Nice to meet you.
I will write more about my values and identity (among other things) in the future. I am going to unapologetically speak up more often — so watch this space!
If you’re having a writer’s block or that inner critic stopping you from sharing your story… let me know in the comments. Or if this is too public, feel free to message me directly. I would love to hear your story and cheer you on.
I hope this inspires you to start listening to your own voice and amplifying it for the good of others (of course, in a safe and healthy way*).
For more on figuring out whether you’re ready to share your story, take a look at these tips shared by Morgan Cataldo in her course titled “Working with people with lived experience: exploring practices, challenges and tools” (highly recommend):
Storytelling tips from a victim survivor
How much of my story am I willing to tell?
Where does my story intersect with other people’s, do I have the right to tell it?
Am I ready for the emotional and practical fallout of going public with my story?
Do I have a support network in place?
Why am I telling people this part of my story, what do I want them to learn from or do with the information?
